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5 bikes to take your mind off relationship issues

Cyclist with relationship problems
Not much to say when you're both totally right.
Photo: Roberta Krasnig / Getty Images

We all have to deal with relationship stress at some stage in our lives. Once the love blind honeymoon period is over, somethime the harsh reality of spending all your time with another person rears up, in which case there are three choices:

  1. Start fighting, blaming and break up
  2. Fight, blame, stay together and make each other's life misery
  3. Fight, blame, get over it and begin to take responsibility for your part and find love and purpose in being together.

I recommend the third option, yet it is amazing how few people choose it as a way of being with another. I will admit though that love doesn't seem quite so easy for a bike geek with a passion for two wheels. It is a juggle many of us are loath to make.

So here are some tongue-in-cheek tips for a typical bike nerd trying to deal with a difficult time in a relationship...


1. Uber expensive $15,000 road bike

They're going to leave you anyway so why not get the most expensive bike you can almost afford before you see someone else who's just going to say "no way" as well.


2. Tandem bike

Going the other way, perhaps the joy of riding together is the missing link in your relationship. Forget counselling, and the "you've gone soft" looks from all your mates - embrace the magic of riding tandem.

A tandem bike riding couple
A tandem love machine. Just the ticket for some good times!
Photo: akexpress / mtbr


3. Fat bike

Perhaps when your partner see's the huge tyres and the total inappropriateness of a fat bike for nearly everything (and the fact that you bought it fresh from the argument about how you are never there for her and think only of yourself), they will believe you have gone completely insane. This could possibly be the catalyst for greater understanding and compassion... plus you get another bike in your quiver.


4. Downhill mountain bike

They are going to leave you, it is just a matter of time, and you feel like you can't go on without them...Best time to buy a downhill bike. Start racing and with your new found attitude and little care for personal survival, you might actually get in some fast runs. The other advantage is face planting into that least you departed with an insane grin on your face.


A happy bike riding couple
Try to find a photo of a couple who aren't happy - it's not an easy task! Perhaps bikes are the answer to all conflict in the world?


5. Fixie

All is lost and you have now failed as a man (or woman). This is the moment to awaken the irresponsible youth in all of us, buy some brown trousers, canvas shoes, fedora and a messenger bag or satchel stuffed with electronic gadgets with a fruity motif and join the hipster revolution.


In truth, these are all really bad ideas and should be attempted only by those who are truly committed to replacing love with a excuse me while I practice my juggling...



ProfileAuthor: Christian Woodcock
Christian loves riding bikes. He has many years experience working in bike shops and has raced mountain bikes at a high level with success. These days expect to see him climbing and suffering on a road bike, or talking it up on the trails with mates.

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