Real cyclists are self sufficient
Just about everybody owns and rides a bicycle of some description, but the truth is cyclists are a definite minority in most social circles. So when does a person cross that line from someone who rides a bike to becoming a fully-fledged, fair-dinkum, energy-gel sucking cyclist?
- Most people have an underwear drawer, you have one devoted completely to lycra, and chances are that it's stuffed full because you can't bring yourself to throw any of it away.
- You don't stop to eat, ever. You have perfected the art of preparing pocket sized food to munch while you ride. You can go no-hands to peel a banana.
- You check out every other cyclist that goes past and aren't happy till you know what they are riding and have them categorized accordingly.
- You have a fascination with other bloke's calves. It's not sexual, just weird.
- Whenever you eat you take a moment to calculate how many km/miles you have to ride tomorrow to burn it off.
- You're always hungry.
- You have become an ultimate cycling masochist and get disappointed if you haven't quite suffered enough on a ride.
Spot the cyclist! These massive thighs belong to German track rider Robert Förstermann.Photo: Greg Henderson/Twitter
- You erase your Facebook and Twitter accounts and use Strava instead.
- You use roadie hand signals on a family ride in the park with your partner and kids.
- When someone asks what you did on the weekend you reply "road and mountain".
- You have more miles on your bike computer than on the odometer in your car.
- The blank stare you take on at work is when you are figuring out in your head how many miles you've ridden that week and how many more you have to ride and when. This happens often.
- You're fit enough to do a 500km week, but a gentle stroll at the shopping mall is completely exhausting. (Well, you don't necessarily have to be a cyclist to experience this.)
- When asked what you like to eat and you reply in energy gel flavors.
- You dream of riding up Mont Ventoux to see and touch the memorial to a guy who died riding up Mont Ventoux.
There are many more. What changes in behavior occurred when you crossed the line and became a "real" cyclist?