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10 things you should NEVER do on a bike

Bicycle ladder
This guy just ignored number 3. He must be pro.
Photo: Fighting Irish in Italy


New road cyclists often have to navigate through a fog of confusion regarding the appropriate etiquette and rules of cycling. These rules are not written down, (apart from in the highway code regarding traffic offences and perhaps when racing), yet nevertheless are crucial in maintaining order on the bike paths and in the bunch.

So, to clear up any confusion of what you can and can't get away with we have created a list of ten things you must absolutely NEVER do on a bicycle of any type (unless of course you really have to)....

BikeRoar's 10 things you should NEVER do on a bike:


1. Answer your phone

We all carry our phones with us everywhere we go, but if you're on a bike at least stop first before fishing it from your pocket. Riding and talking on the phone is similar to doing the same in a car - the distraction makes you dangerous to others.

2. Iron your pants

Iron your cloths
Its okay to iron your pants if its synchronized.

Running late for work and no time to remove those creases? "Extreme ironing" was just a bit of fun and should never be included as part of your daily bike ride or commute.

3. Carry a ladder

The people who carry ladders on their bikes are experienced professionals. You are NOT a window washer you are a cyclist, put the ladder down and back away slowly.

4. Join the outlaw motorcycle gang

If you do rock up in your best lycra to join the gang just make sure you have a spare bike and jaw at home because one could be wrapped around the other before you can finish the sentence "your bike's made from steel? Ha! You've been ripped off mate, mines carbon fib........"

5. Carry your whole family including dog

Although common practice in some parts of the world this is definitely a bad idea in your local neighbourhood. It takes true commitment to ride a bike carrying your wife, two kids, grandma and grandpa, uncle Bob and spot the dog down to the shopping mall for a browse and bite to eat. Take the car.

6. Go to the toilet

When you begin riding in the World Tour you are excused, before that it is just bad, bad form. Find a tree at the very least mate.


Cycle with a short skirt
I could be wrong about the heels...
Photo: Huffington Post


7. Wear short skirt and stilettoes

Being a guy I don't have a huge issue with this, but really, what were you expecting wearing a mini skirt and high heels on a bike? Appropriate attire please ladies.

8. Get married

Actually, skip that. Getting married while riding a bike sounds awesome. The hardest part would be finding a priest or celebrant capable of riding backwards and reading at the same time. If you find one, can you let me know?

9. Sew on a button

While riding a bike wearing a jersey it will be more like repairing a zipper, but either way you should have thought of it before you left home. In saying that, is there a better place to carry a travel sewing kit than a wedge pack? 


Bike through window
That's one unhappy meal for you.
Photo: Daily Mail Australia

10. Ride through a drive thru and order dinner

My wife actually tried this one and they were really NOT happy at all! Apparently drive thrus' are for cars not bicycles. Shame. The person who invents the bikethru will do well.


I think that covers everything. Next time you go riding, respect others and take care, and never, ever do any of these...unless you really have to...or its a dare...or a bet...


ProfileAuthor: Christian Woodcock
Christian loves riding bikes. He has many years experience working in bike shops and has raced mountain bikes at a high level with success. These days expect to see him climbing and suffering on a road bike, or talking it up on the trails with mates.

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